"Cats don't have names," it said.
"No?" said Coraline.
"No," said the cat. "Now, you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names."
-Coraline, by Neil Gaiman
Hello. My name is Jac. It's been a while. Do you remember me?
It's been an eventful year, since my last blog post. Since then, I've welcomed a new child into the world. A son. Later this week, we'll celebrate his first birthday. It has been exciting, exhausting and one of the best life changes of all time.
Going from one child to two took a lot more adjustment than I anticipated! Those of you reading this who have more than one child will laugh at this. It has been so hectic. The emotions have run high at times. At the end though, my home is filled with laughter, so how can I complain?
My firstborn, Alice Rose, was five when my son was born. That's old enough to remember and be quite used to all the attention of an only child. Sharing was a difficult hurdle. However, five is old enough to be helpful and involved in a way a younger child wouldn't be able to. She's held her brother, changed his diapers, and danced with him in the living room. She constantly asks to hold him, to carry him, to hug him. And at bedtime, as I tuck her in, she whispers, "Can I blow a raspberry on his belly one more time?" As someone who grew up the only child in the house (my brother is much older), it has been the sweetest of joys to watch my children love each other.
Caledon Locke is my son's name. We mostly call him Locke, but he's honestly been called both enough that he recognizes both as his name. He's a sweet-natured little boy, and the slow unveiling of his personality has made the last year's difficulties seem paltry in comparison.
What's in a name? If I had named him George or Jaxson or Michael, would he be any different? I rather doubt it. But names are important. We identify ourselves by them, we put a lot of importance in them. And rightly so. Caledon Locke knows when he hears both names, he's in trouble. He knows when he hears a sing-song "Lockers!" it's his sister calling. He knows he is "Caledon," "Lock-a-roo," "Sweet boy," "Son man" and a myriad other nicknames. Alice's first pet name for his tiny self was "The Snoodle," and I've yet to hear or come up with a funnier nickname for a newborn.
He likely knows more by the cadence of our voices when we are talking to him than any particular title. And us adults are the same. When someone makes eye contact and speaks, you often know they are speaking to you, even if they get your name wrong. I can't count the number of times someone has addressed me as "Jackie," even though my mother will adamantly insist that it is not my name.
By that same token, I would suggest that children know they are loved, even if they don't know the words. I don't know that I associate a lot of love and affection with cats. As someone who has been allergic to them my entire life, I've had little opportunity to know any of the species personally. However, I wonder, do cats know themselves well enough to not need a name? Or are do they love themselves enough to not need a name?
If my name were Sheila or Audrey or Genevieve, would I be loved any less? Probably not. My mother, she tells me, almost named me Heidi. As a child the very idea horrified me. Now, I just shrug. I know who I am. I am loved.
Dear reader, I have missed you. My lovely children are what they are, but I'm endeavoring to take moments here and there and get back to the writing, back to the blog, back to the business of life. I've made a start on book number three. I've got scribbled notes and unfinished word documents. But more importantly, I have emerged enough from the haze of half-slept nights and new ideas are blooming inside. They are ready to burst out of my chest. They don't have names yet, these stories and ideas and characters, but already I love them. As I get to know them more, as they slowly unveil themselves to me, I hope to set them in ink and paper and share them with you. Until them, please be patient with me. It's been an eventful year, but I'm still here. Still working and dreaming and living. I hope it's been a good year for you while I was busy. It's great to see you.
Tell me, please. Did you have any funny nicknames for yourself or a sibling? As a girl named Jac, I almost never got any nicknames. I love to hear about other's though! Leave a comment if you have a good one!